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Writing Advice and Advice to New Parents
by Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig
This post is especially for all the newer or
more uncertain writers out there. The
ones who are frozen while working on their manuscript because they’ve read so
many writing craft books and posts that they’re just afraid of messing up if
they work on their story.
My sister had twins last summer and
quickly found that there was something about a new mother that made experienced
moms want to give them advice…on any and all topics. But every baby is different and every mom is
different. I decided I’d bite my tongue
and only give advice to my sister when asked for it. After all—what did I even know about raising twins? I had my babies 4/ ½ years apart and they’re
getting pretty old now. And I’m
forgetful.
When she did
ask me for advice, I tried to phrase it so it didn’t sound bossy coming out:
“Sometimes I’d try to….”
Ultimately, each parent has to try
different approaches to see what works.
Maybe the babies need a nap schedule.
Maybe they don’t adhere to a schedule well. Maybe they need a late-morning nap and then
skip the afternoon nap and then turn in for the day after an early supper. Who knows?
You have to experiment to find out what works.
This is what makes me nervous about
giving advice to new writers, too (which I’ve already done via email twice in
the past week. And, clearly, which I try to do on this blog.) What do I know, when it comes down to it? I know what’s right for me and my
books (most of the time.) Each genre,
each writer, each book—is different.
Some books are more commercial than
others. Some books have a clear genre classification. Some books are lyrical
and different and unable to be easily categorized.
Some writers are retired. Some are
parenting challenging children. Some care for aging parents. Some work weekends
and nights. Some face health problems.
Some are still in school.
I remember reading volumes on
writing. I read books from the
library. I read blogs and forums. My mind was boggled by all the information—and
the way that so much of it appeared to be contradictory to other bits of advice
or information.
It’s not any easier now. Should we get an agent? Query publishers? Self-publish?
Should we write every day? Write
to trends? Outline? Wing it?
I know what I did. I took it all in and tried different
approaches until I figured out what worked for me. And even then…I’m still making adjustments,
ten years in. What I need, what works
for me, is always changing. I would have
never believed that I’d choose to use an outline, if you’d asked me. Even if
you’d asked me two years ago.
It’s good to be informed. It’s good to listen to others and hear what
works for them. But, ultimately, we have
to experiment on our own to find out what works. And maybe we have to be open to new ideas and
new approaches if what used to work no
longer works for us now.
We can read all the new parent books and
all the writing craft books…but at some point we have to put it all into
practice and give it a go. Make mistakes
and learn from them and grow and improve and try and screw up.
There really are no rules. And the only
way we can really fail at writing is if we don’t write at all.
Image: MorgueFile: kamuelaboy
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